Tag Archives: nonsense

If you really want to hear about it.

I am very sad these past few days. I don’t know why. It’s just these random episodes of melancholic bursts and impulses that puts me in a lousy shape. You see people around you and you see through them. They are all trying to get by and you just watch them with such hatred and jealousy. Its not normal to not want to be normal but sometimes its a curse to be someone who tries to act so differently just to prove how unique you are as an individual. But its irritating to confess that I am not in the place I wanted to be and I don’t even know where I want to be. Its a maddening thing trying to figure your life out.  One moment you are just tagging along the flow of the universe and the next thing you know, you are commanding your own ship. How the hell did I end up here?

The thing is, people do not really care about other people. Let us admit it. No one in the whole freaking universe cares about other people. They may look like they care, but its just a social responsibility to act curious or concerned. And that is so fucking depressing, knowing that people doesnt really seem to give a shit. They say affectionate bullshits to someone and you know and feel that they do not mean a single word. Holy mother of..

You roam around facebook and all you see is  I love you, I love this, True Love, destiny, feelings. Motherfucker. That is the phoniest thing. And it is very disappointing that I cannot relate to that. Why can’t I fucking relate to love. Oh right. Because it is so phony. I can see through people posting this shit on facebook and I want to believe that they mean it but I fucking can’t. It disgusts me. People are trying to romanticize everything to the point where it blurs the line of emotions and love. If it interests you just a little bit, its supposed to be love? motherfucking God. 

Believe me, I dont want to whine. I want to relate to everybody but I just cant seem to find a way. Everybody just wants to outsmart everybody. That is so fucking depressing down to the last bone of my freaking body.

Yeah. You just read through that post. Judge me.

So bored, can’t even think of a title.

X: I am so bored.

X: Shit. I don’t have anything to do.

X: I might as well sleep all day. This is so frustrating.

X: The sun is shining so bright, but I don’t want to go outside. I am goddamn useless.

X: The bed… Its so warm…  The bed….. I will never part with you.

X: Damn. Might as well write something useful.

X: I can’t think of a effing topic.

X: I don’t even know how to pronounce rendezvous right. Im an idiot.

X: Who in the right mind would like to read about bats flying in my room. 

X: Fuck it. They don’t even know my name. I’ll write for no one but myself.

X: AHHHHHH. I WANT TO KILL MYSELF!

X: I wish I live for about a trillion years.

X: I am so thirsty. And I have to pee so bad. I’ll do both at the same time.

X: I have never seen a chicken having sex. Nor cockroaches. Nor Lizards. Fuck.

X: What would I do after college? I’d probably die of starvation because I don’t know how to do anything. I am so fucked.

X: minesweeper. So I just press random button rights? WTF. Why did I die? How the hell am I supposed to know if there is a bomb there. Fucking ridiculous game.

X: What does an electric fan taste like? I have never seen someone eat an electric fan. I wonder why.

X: goddamnit. Why the hell does Tarzan cover his private parts? Where did that idea come from? His mother ape? Jesus Christ.

X: I still don’t know how to kill a mockingbird. The book wasn’t really helpful. At all. 

X: How the hell did I win the sperm race? I can’t even jog 30 seconds straight.

X: what the hell am I writing

X: I’ve lost it haven’t I?

X: I don’t even know how to end this blog post.

X: Wait I got it.

X: Stop.

And the Night Layed Perfectly Still

I’m always nauseated by my thoughts. Its always murmuring things and ideas in my head that sometimes I wish they would all go away. Its not that I hate thinking, but during the course of the night, it is very hard to fall asleep when your brain repeatedly tries to suffocate you with random bullshits. Its a mundane tasks, trying to tame your brain.

I dont think Im a smart man. Hell, Im average at best. But I like expressing my feelings here because why not? I dont even know if someone is sane enough to read some of my blogs and even if they do, I dont think they care enough to judge me. In this place, I have a mask. I can say whatever the hell I like and no one will bat an eye. Not even you.

I dont hate hipocrisy. I mean I dislike the idea but overall, I think its an essential human trait. If you want to function properly in this society, you must be a hypocrite. You have to talk to people you dislike, obey the laws you dont agree with, get a job you really hate and act sane all the time. When I say sane, I mean the standard society expects from you because thats how the world works. Keeping up with expectations.

I once asked myself, what is happiness? Is it the absence of sadness? Then I realized, no. Sadness is an important ingredient to attain happiness. I mean if you are happy, you can’t become happier. There is no degree of happiness. If you are happy, then thats the happiest emotion you’ll ever attain. But if you are sad, you have a goal. You have to overcome sadness because thats how happiness works. The contrast between sadness and happiness is what makes as euphoric. The sadder we are, the higher our euphoria. 

Im sorry, I know it doesnt make a lot of sense. I apologize on behalf of my brain. He is a very ill-mannered guy. Don’t bother with his nonsense.