I don’t really have an insomnia. This is just my subtle way of insulting the people who apparently cannot sleep for one night and goes blabbering about it on facebook because it’s cool I guess? Well, insomnia, for those of you who doesn’t know, is a sleep disorder that disables a person’s ability to sleep. Being unable to sleep for a night is not effing insomnia for the love of God people. I just think its moronic to announce to everyone that you are a nocturnal human being and you are like Batman or something. You look stupid. Believe me.
Well, I don’t really have anything interesting to say. Just can’t sleep.
I was so happy today! Let me tell you about my day!
I was walking happily along the park. I saw children playing and lovers of course. They were smooching and kissing and oh what a lovely sight. They were giving me these friendly nods like we were already friends! What delightful creatures! There were old people just enjoying the view and watching the sunset and it just brought a smile to my face. It was a perfect day where everything was in order.
I took my machine gun and fired at everybody! They were screaming and shouting in pain! There were blood everywhere and they would just beg for me to stop. But of course I didn’t! I wouldn’t want to waste these beautiful day right? Everyone was running around, trying to save their lives! It was like conducting my own orchestra! What a masterpiece.
Well, after the bullets for my machine gun went empty, I had to stop. I was sad but quite content with my work. Oh well, I can always go back anytime! I wonder which park I would go to next. I wish there were more children!
You look out the window. What do you see? Nothing. Its dark outside, its freezing cold and its scary. I dont get it. Why do I always look out the freaking window in the middle of the mothereffing night? Its like this compulsive thing, like I dont have any control with my body. i just have to peek the goddamn window every night before I go to sleep. I half expect to see a headless man greeting me hello and me unable to comply because Im sure I would have fainted the moment I see it.
It is so frustrating. I have no idea what the hell I am supposed to find or why. I stare and stare and stare and freeze myself to death but I still break my neck from extending it outside, hoping to see something I do not know what. But the other night, I did see something interesting. It was a bat flying aimlessly into the night and suddenly came rushing inside my room and before I knew it, I was running around the room like my life depended on it. I was running so crazy that I didnt even noticed that the bat wasn’t even chasing me. It was minding its own business, thinking what the hell was it doing there. While it was busy flapping its wings and trying to find an exit, I was getting ready to mutilate it with my freshly forged knife (I took it from the kitchen).
But I looked at it one more freaking time and I didnt have the guts to kill it. It looked so helpless that I didnt even know why the hell I was about to kill it. I was afraid, because it was unusual. An unusual event happened and instead of being amused, I was scared as a fucking pussy. So I put the knife down, went towards the bat and held it without hesitation. It tried to break free but my grip was firmer. I was afraid it would bite me but I kinda had a feeling it wont. Not because I was a goddamn professional bat handler but rather because it knows that Im trying to help. I leaded its body towards the window and out he goes into the dark hole of the night. It was a fulfillinf feeling, being able to handle the situation.
After that night, I was able to sleep without looking out the window. The problem is, now I cant sleep without watching bat videos. Fucking mannerisms.
What the hell am I writing? I am supposed to be sleeping but I’m here, wasting my time in front of a computer screen and whining about how insomniac I am. Well, I am not really insomniac. I just thought it sounds cool when I say that I’m insomniac and you all reading this will think that I am this disturbed little teenager who is going through the stage where he hates everything.
The truth is, I don’t hate everything. I hate the fact that I don’t know what I’m supposed to be hating. I have this negative emotion stacked up inside of me and I don’t know to what or whom I should direct it to. The feeling I’m having, I can’t describe because it’s so immature and child-like that I feel almost embarrassed that I’m talking about it here. Its like trying to figure out the answer of the universe and getting depressed because you can’t get a definitive answer.
The truth is, I’m just prolonging what I’m writing as an excuse to write something. I don’t really have a lot to say really, I just want to ramble on words that don’t mean and hopes I deliver some kind of awe inspiring message to anyone in the right mind who will read this shit. If by any chance, you read up to this point of this blog post, you are so like me. You don’t have anything better to do so you make up some weird hobby and try to write like the goddamn Shakespeare and act smart but weird in the hopes that people will find you mysterious. You know its true. I don’t blame you. The only people who write blogs are either bored to death or just plain normal people. Guess which kind of people I am?
Anyway, I am gonna pack up these shit and try to conclude this the best way I know how. Like this.