Tag Archives: brain

The feeling of not feeling.

We have different opinions when it comes to feelings. I mean, sure we like to feel excited and happy and jolly all the time but the truth is, that is not always the case. We live in a world of contradiction where the positive cannot exist without the negative and vice versa so it all comes down to which emotion dominates within you throughout the day. Its the constant tug of war that people face from time to time to determine their state of mind. Bottomline, feelings or emotions are just a roll of a dice.

You may argue with me and say that the things we are feeling are caused by different circumstances and situations. That its not probability but rather a reaction. You are right. We just simply react to the situations we’re in and we decide how we react at a given moment by choosing what emotions we will entertain. But remember, we can’t choose our situation. We think that we have power over destiny but in reality, we are helpless. We end up where fate want us to be. And thats what makes our emotions random.

There is no denying, feelings are essential to our being. I mean what seperates us humans from animals is our empathy (aside from common sense, of course). We feel our conscience talking to us and in order to quiet down that inner voice, we visit the realm of morality. What are our morals? What is the very core of our humanity that defines our very existence? It varies from people to people and it is the most basic building block of our character. What may seem morally right to me may seem sinful and tragic to some. And the fine line that binds us together as one functional society despite our different opinions and perceptions are laws. Laws that neither dictates what is right nor what is wrong but rather enumerates the necessary behaviors the citizens must comply with in order to avoid chaos and live a civil life.

But enough of that. What is it really like to lose feelings? What if I never get hurt? Will it satisfy me? But I wouldn’t feel pleasure too, I bet. Heck, I wouldnt even try to move in my entire existence. I would just froze and wait for myself to die from hunger or thirst. It wont matter to me, because Im deprived of feelings. And the thought of that terrified me so much that Im thankful to the heavens I feel sadness. Its what drives me. Its what motivates me. To be happy. Even if feelings to the extreme end of a spectrum can drive a man insane. Better insane than lifeless.

Oh well Im feeling sleepy now. Imagine if I dont feel tired and sleepy. I can write a million blog everyday and I wouldnt even blink. Huh. I guess grass is always greener on the other side.

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And the Night Layed Perfectly Still

I’m always nauseated by my thoughts. Its always murmuring things and ideas in my head that sometimes I wish they would all go away. Its not that I hate thinking, but during the course of the night, it is very hard to fall asleep when your brain repeatedly tries to suffocate you with random bullshits. Its a mundane tasks, trying to tame your brain.

I dont think Im a smart man. Hell, Im average at best. But I like expressing my feelings here because why not? I dont even know if someone is sane enough to read some of my blogs and even if they do, I dont think they care enough to judge me. In this place, I have a mask. I can say whatever the hell I like and no one will bat an eye. Not even you.

I dont hate hipocrisy. I mean I dislike the idea but overall, I think its an essential human trait. If you want to function properly in this society, you must be a hypocrite. You have to talk to people you dislike, obey the laws you dont agree with, get a job you really hate and act sane all the time. When I say sane, I mean the standard society expects from you because thats how the world works. Keeping up with expectations.

I once asked myself, what is happiness? Is it the absence of sadness? Then I realized, no. Sadness is an important ingredient to attain happiness. I mean if you are happy, you can’t become happier. There is no degree of happiness. If you are happy, then thats the happiest emotion you’ll ever attain. But if you are sad, you have a goal. You have to overcome sadness because thats how happiness works. The contrast between sadness and happiness is what makes as euphoric. The sadder we are, the higher our euphoria. 

Im sorry, I know it doesnt make a lot of sense. I apologize on behalf of my brain. He is a very ill-mannered guy. Don’t bother with his nonsense.