Death came to offer his peace
But I refuse, the fuck is this?
I would rather fade softly and quietly
Than carry the weight of my misery
Its never solemn, it seldom is
But honesty is my catharsis
Bludgering mess of a human I am
Blame me? Blame you? Blame fucking them!
Oh I know you do not understand
Who, for fucks sake, really can?
Wallowing in your shit, ain’t you?
Dont worry, none of these is true
I am very sad these past few days. I don’t know why. It’s just these random episodes of melancholic bursts and impulses that puts me in a lousy shape. You see people around you and you see through them. They are all trying to get by and you just watch them with such hatred and jealousy. Its not normal to not want to be normal but sometimes its a curse to be someone who tries to act so differently just to prove how unique you are as an individual. But its irritating to confess that I am not in the place I wanted to be and I don’t even know where I want to be. Its a maddening thing trying to figure your life out. One moment you are just tagging along the flow of the universe and the next thing you know, you are commanding your own ship. How the hell did I end up here?
The thing is, people do not really care about other people. Let us admit it. No one in the whole freaking universe cares about other people. They may look like they care, but its just a social responsibility to act curious or concerned. And that is so fucking depressing, knowing that people doesnt really seem to give a shit. They say affectionate bullshits to someone and you know and feel that they do not mean a single word. Holy mother of..
You roam around facebook and all you see is I love you, I love this, True Love, destiny, feelings. Motherfucker. That is the phoniest thing. And it is very disappointing that I cannot relate to that. Why can’t I fucking relate to love. Oh right. Because it is so phony. I can see through people posting this shit on facebook and I want to believe that they mean it but I fucking can’t. It disgusts me. People are trying to romanticize everything to the point where it blurs the line of emotions and love. If it interests you just a little bit, its supposed to be love? motherfucking God.
Believe me, I dont want to whine. I want to relate to everybody but I just cant seem to find a way. Everybody just wants to outsmart everybody. That is so fucking depressing down to the last bone of my freaking body.
Yeah. You just read through that post. Judge me.